We all have secret identities of sorts, hidden behind our smiling social-networking profiles. However,we only portray emotions which are accepted by society.
Always wearing masks.Wanting to be accepted by society,we put on our social mask for the sake of etiquette and survival and coming back home we continue to role play. We are so mesmerized and disillusioned that we become our own audience unaware that we are always masking, masking as if by habit.
After a period of time we finally get bewildered as to which the true face is. Perplexed as to our true identity, feelings of dissatisfaction kicks in and we feel discontented with ourselves. We start to lean on the outer world for a cure and search for the missing piece to complete our incomplete life. As time goes by our suppressed negative emotions festers and our frustration increases.
The solution is undoubtedly silence and introspection. Ask the mirror. Reconnect with your true selves. Let’s not hide and lock away our gorgeous bits.
Born on Nov3 of 1994 on the auspicious hindu festival of lights, Diwali, I was the first born in my fathers side and the second in my mothers side. But the first ”girl” in both the families.
My preteen years included a lot of moving around schools every 2 years. This made me accustomed to change and become flexible. As a child I was talkative, curious and took up challenges.I love studying and learning but honestly dislike exams. That was the reason I took up Chartered Accountancy Course after my high school…. Only 3 exams but.. boy are they difficult…
Only in my 5th grade did I discover my passion…elocution.. My 1 st try was quite a competition with 26 rounds of auditions to select the finalists and on the 27th round I went on to win the 1st prize but before my hand touched the trophy…… I had to move out. I was disappointed but I was excited at the same time and immediately participated in the auditions for a small event in my new school but was not selected. I dint want to give up so I ran over to my English teacher and asked him what I had to do to improve. He looked at me and said these words ‘’ You were the best candidate but I don’t have enough ‘’trust’’ in you’’…. Standing there like a wet blanket,these words for some unexplainable reasons broke my resolve and confidence and invoked a sense of insecurity and fear…. I never ever participated again and waited to settle in the new school and build trust but… I never was able to settle down. Now I have joined in Toastmaster s to re excavate my buried passion.
In my teen years I still often shifted schools. But no longer did the students welcome me, they started speculating my character based on my appearances and background. Therefore, in my 9th grade in India I was ignored & left with no friends. In their eyes I was proud because I came from abroad, unfriendly because I was good at academics and an opportunist because I was in a good relationship with all my teachers. Also being bullied because of my dark complexion, but I found it insulting to my ancestors if I cry over my very identity. Today I might be the dark girl in the crowd but I promise that tomorrow I will be recognized in that crowd. They did not bully me because I was weak but because they were feeling inferior about my strength.
I believe that ‘’Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards’’ so presently…. My life though is busy with study, and work , I manage to pull out sometime for my hobbies; watching Korean dramas, listening to music, reading manga’s . I want to make use of the god given opportunities and choose a suitable job which will allow me to meet new people, give me time to look after my family and lead a fulfilling and meaningful life.
‘’The woods are lovely, dark and deep, But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep.